The Worst Reading Slump I Have Ever Been In

I have been in the worst reading slump this month. I tried to start reading several books in hopes of breaking the slump; one of which was I See You by Clare Mackintosh, which I might go back to in the near future because I think that was more of my issue than the book's issue. Because, let's face it, this was pretty much me with every book I picked up and started reading:

From there, it just got worse. I couldn't get into any book I picked up, even books I knew in the back of my mind were going to be good books. I just could not get into them at all. Nothing was grabbing my interest or full attention. But reading is my life! Especially in the summer! AHHH! What was happening to me?! Anxiety started to take over:

Yeah, so, it's not fun. But I do take a smidge of comfort in the fact that all readers are known to experience this wonderful thing called a reading slump from time to time.

I decided that the only way I was going to break the slump was by starting a new series...which is an extremely rare thing for me to decide. I have extreme commitment issues when it comes to reading a series that is longer than a trilogy. I just get bored and my mind starts to crave something else after living in the same universe for too long...one could also argue I was just reading the wrong series, but I don't think that's it. I think I just function better with standalone books. That being said, I'm all for diving into a new trilogy every now and then. My favorite trilogy by far is The Infernal Devices by Cassandra Clare, the prequel to The Mortal Instruments. I actually read TID before TMI, which I think helped me understand the Shadowhunter world much better. But, because TMI is longer than a trilogy, I got bored after the fourth one. I started the fifth, but just couldn't get into it. Also, might I just say that I would have been completely happy if TMI was a trilogy. I know I'm in the minority here and I'm not saying there wasn't room to continue, but I for one would have been satisfied if the series had ended with City of Glass. That could also just be my need for a series to not be longer than a trilogy talking. 

Anyway, Clare's new spin-off series The Dark Artifices had been catching my eye since the first installment, Lady Midnight, came out last year, but I was hesitant to dive in because I *technically* never finished TMI (even though I knew what happens...that shit was spoiled for me a long time ago and I didn't care enough to be mad about it). So I committed a mortal bookworm sin and read a summary of what happens in both City of Lost Souls and City of Heavenly Fire so I could definitely say I knew what happened in the end (I know, I know, I should've just read the books. But I'm honestly done with that series. I don't have the diligence to fully read the last two). So I decided I was going to order Lady Midnight on Amazon, but I couldn't just get one book! What kind of blasphemy is that? Need to get that free shipping (I have a theory that capitalism is based solely on the weaknesses of book nerds, BTW). So I also got the sequel that just came out, Lord of Shadows, AND the first of another fantasy series that I've been meaning to check out: This Savage Song by Victoria Schwab, which every YA bookish person I follow has loved so we'll see how that goes! 

While waiting for the new books I bought with money I don't have, I decided that I was going to reread one of the books that I marked as "to-reread" on Goodreads. I went with The Bell Jar by Sylvia Plath, which I first read in January 2016 and was actually one of the first books I ever reviewed on this blog. I only gave it 3 stars on Goodreads because I remember finding it very hard to follow and being confused most of the time...but reading it a second time made me appreciate the story and the prose much more. It could also be because, since then, I've grown to love Sylvia Plath even more than I did before and also because I've read a few scholarly analyses of the novel that made me think of it in a different way, so I made a note of wanting to reread it at some point. I still found a lot of it hard to follow but I think that's sort of the point...mental illness, especially mental illness in the 1950s and 1960s, is not easy to follow or understand. So I ended up bumping my review on Goodreads up to 4 stars.

The package also arrived several days early and right on my doorstep, so that was exciting! I mean, when is bookmail not exciting? Never. Above is the picture I took trying to be fancy and artsy for Bookstagram. If you're not already following me on Instagram, my username is @jeffreyreads! I will most probably review Lady Midnight on here when I'm finished, but it's almost 700 pages so who knows when I'll be done (also something totally out of the ordinary for me; I've been known to decide against reading a book if its over 450 pages. Or even 400. Sometimes 350. I like shorter books, okay?!) But be sure to check back here in the coming weeks for that! Thanks for reading! XOXO Gossip Jeffrey

Book Reviews: 'This is How It Always Is' by Louise Frankel and 'The Thirteenth Tale' by Diane Setterfield

Note: I found both of these books on a BuzzFeed list of 31 Books You Won't Be Able to Stop Thinking About.

1. This is How It Always Is, by Louise Frankel:
This book tells a story that is really important and I recommend it to anyone who likes a good family drama, and to anyone who knows that there are more than one definition of normal. This is How It Always Is is about five-year-old Claude, who wants to be a girl when he grows up. His parents are very supportive of the entire situation, but they can't always say the same for the rest of the world. I can say that it tore my heart to pieces at times and the characters stuck with me long after I had finished it, and I know that symbolizes a strong book. Gender dysphoria is still so misunderstood and this book makes such an effort in fighting for the discussion to continue. I also loved that there were fairy tale metaphors and allegories throughout. I thought the story dragged a bit towards the end and some chapters were unnecessary, but nonetheless I am happy that this story was told. There needs to be more of them. 4.5/5 stars.

2. The Thirteenth Tale, by Diane Setterfield:
If I could rate a book based solely on its aesthetic value, I would definitely give The Thirteenth Tale 5 stars. The dust jacket description describes it as a "love letter to reading", and it very much is. It stresses the importance of books, reading, words and stories, four things I hold very dear. There are some very beautiful quotes and passages that I have already saved and will copy down into one of my notebooks. However, the story itself was lacking something to allow me to be fully engaged with it. The Thirteenth Tale is the story of biographer Margaret Lea and famous novelist Vida Winter, who has spent her entire career building lies about her own backstory and she is now finally ready to reveal the truth. I don't think it's necessarily not engaging or lackluster, but I feel like the author was trying a little too hard to create a Brontë-esque story with rich secrets, pasts and characters and I just found it to be a little cliché, boring and draggy at times. I found that a lot of things that happened in the end were a bit predictable and convenient, and I will admit I rolled my eyes a few times while reading. I don't think the storyline was bad, but it lacked some originality for me. But this is not to say that I don't appreciate The Thirteenth Tale for stressing the importance of books and reading. I very much enjoyed that angle of it. The rest was just rather boring and unoriginal for me. 3/5 stars.

Book Review: 'Under Rose-Tainted Skies' by Louise Gornall

Before we start: I know for a fact people are going to look at the premise of this book and think, "Ugh, this sounds just like a thousand other YA novels." And you're going to be a thousand percent right. It does sound like a billion other YA books of its kind; I knew that going in, and even questioned my judgment for wanting to read it (so why did you read it then, Jeffrey? Because I'm trash). So, yes, you're going to look at the premise of Under Rose-Tainted Skies and roll your eyes because this sounds like a stereotypical YA romance novel. But I must say: it does a lot of things right that a lot of books of its kind do wrong.

17-year-old Norah is agoraphobic. Plagued with OCD and anxiety, leaving the house has become an unbearable challenge that she struggles with every day. When Luke moves in next door, she can't help herself but be smitten with him, even though she doesn't understand why and can't believe that he is even paying attention to her. Are you rolling your eyes yet? Because I feel like this is where people would say ugh and then put the book back on the shelf and keep browsing. I am not denying that Under Rose-Tainted Skies is, in many ways, your typical YA book, but most people who read YA can figure that out. The thing is, this book isn't really about a romance, with mental health and illness written as poignant quirks that the characters may have. This book is about mental health and mental illness. It's about Norah, and the struggles she deals with every day. The fact that a cute boy has moved in next door has thrown her for a loop, but not because she is looking for someone to save her from herself (or some shit that you've probably seen in books that have gotten this wrong), because she had pretty much accepted that her life is plagued and therefore ruined by mental illness and she wouldn't have the chance to experience normal people things, such as teenage crushes and attraction. It's about how, even though we're told not to, we often define ourselves by our conditions and let it affect us even though we're told we are not our mental illness. Norah is fictional proof of that, and to be quite honest, she's a great protagonist and narrator. Her testimony gives such an insight into anxiety, compulsions and panic attacks, and it's not trivializing it or making light of it because this is YA and supposedly a romance, says the dust jacket. This is about Norah and mental illness, and the author does a great job at essentially just shining a light on what it's like to live with anxiety, intrusive thoughts and obsessive compulsions. Even though Norah's perspective can get lonely, desperate and even dark at times, she still knows the value of laughing at yourself and the way you are. Lines like "can't I just have a panic attack in peace?!" and "life was never this complicated before life got in the way" offered a nice chuckle interspersed with things that shouldn't be laughed at, but should definitely be talked about.

While there were many things Under Rose-Tainted Skies gets right and were nice to see, I did have a few issues with the narrative. I found it dragged a bit at times and was super repetitive towards the end, but that didn't bother me as much as another thing. Norah has obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD). We are told that right from the get-go. However, I feel like so much more effort was needed in the story to establish the fact that she suffers from an often crippling and debilitating disorder. Often times the only symptoms we really see described are things like a book in a pile is out of line with the others, or different colored shoelaces are done up oddly. While I do know that these can in fact be things that can push someone with OCD over the edge, these are the most stereotypical and often incorrect symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder. I feel like OCD is hands down one of the most misunderstood mental illnesses. Everyone has their own idiosyncrasies and most of the time people claim this as "their OCD" when really it's just something that bothers you. That's not necessarily OCD, but people referring to traits and quirks as people being "OCD" has led the illness to fall into disrepute ("Hey man, you're being really OCD right now." How many times have you heard that on TV or in real life?) Anyway, I find that situations like those where OCD is used to describe something that is not actually obsessive-compulsive take away from situations where there are actually obsessive compulsions that need dealing with. I'm not doubting that Norah is obsessive-compulsive; she totally is. But the author used the most stereotypical symptoms of the illness, ones that have been trivialized by the misuse of the term OCD in everyday speech (she has a thing with even numbers, things in the fridge have to be turned a certain way, etc.) Again, I'm not disputing that these are in fact symptoms of obsessive-compulsive disorder. I'm just saying the author could have used some different symptoms that aren't considered stereotypical and are actually really serious issues. She could have gotten a little more creative with the obsessive-compulsive symptoms instead of using stereotypical ones that most people claim as "their OCD" when it's really just a quirk or character trait. I'm probably reading too much into this particular part of the story and the character, but people treating OCD as a quirk, idiosyncrasy or using it as an adjective in general is a big pet peeve of mine, so I had to point that out.

The thing is, however, I feel like a bunch of readers are going to avoid or skim over Under Rose-Tainted Skies just because it sounds like a bunch of other cliché, YA romances when it actually gets a lot of things right that the books you've probably read got wrong. I've already seen people on Goodreads compare it to Everything, Everything by Nicola Yoon just because both books deal with girls who can't leave the house and the new boy next door and I want to yell NOOO! Norah struggles with a mental illness that prevents her from leaving the house; Maddy from Everything, Everything has a medical condition that keeps her confined indoors but she isn't afraid to go outside, she just isn't allowed. This might be a bit of a spoiler, so avert your eyes if you don't wanna know: my favorite thing about Under Rose-Tainted Skies was the fact that Norah's anxiety and OCD symptoms don't diminish after Luke enters her life. So many other YA books dealing with mental health issues have gone down that road (My Heart and Other Black Holes, Finding Audrey and Optimists Die First, to name a few). There is a part where she forgets to close the door and lock it in the way that makes her feel safe, but it's not because she is magically recovering because there's a boy in her life to save her. She's just distracted, and is finally spending some time out of her own head, which I saw as an important detail to include. And not to mention the fact that she hasn't recovered because of a boy by the end of the book, either, which makes it so much more enjoyable and realistic. So please don't avoid Under Rose-Tainted Skies because you think it sounds like other YA books you've already read, specifically Everything, Everything and Finding Audrey (these are the two books I've seen it compared to the most and they are both books that get a lot of things wrong). If this book intrigues you but you're hesitant because it all sounds familiar, don't shy away. It gets a lot of things right. 4/5 stars.

Book Review: 'We Are Okay' by Nina LaCour

What I thought of We Are Okay can be summed up by the title itself: okay. There were several things I liked and it was very beautifully written, but I found a lot of it to be very...problematic. But we'll get into all of that.

I don't feel like I will be able to do it justice, so here is the Goodreads synopsis:
You go through life thinking there’s so much you need…

Until you leave with only your phone, your wallet, and a picture of your mother.

Marin hasn’t spoken to anyone from her old life since the day she left everything behind. No one knows the truth about those final weeks. Not even her best friend, Mabel. But even thousands of miles away from the California coast, at college in New York, Marin still feels the pull of the life and tragedy she’s tried to outrun. Now, months later, alone in an emptied dorm for winter break, Marin waits. Mabel is coming to visit, and Marin will be forced to face everything that’s been left unsaid and finally confront the loneliness that has made a home in her heart.

Looking back, this synopsis makes the story seem much more dramatic than it actually was. A lot of people said that they found the story really well written, which it is (Nina LaCour shows her talent very clearly), but a lot of it is a tad...boring, for lack of a better word. It was one of those situations where two characters, in this case Marin and Mable, just don't want to talk about the elephant in the room, when really there is nothing else for them to talk about except said elephant. So, at times, the prose became frustrating and I just wanted to yell at these girls to talk about why Marin has been so avoidant and disconnected since running away from her "old life."

That's another thing...Marin's old life. For something that held such weight in the story, both in the beginning, middle and the outcome/end, the author leaves this part of the narrative severely underdeveloped. Marin lived with her grandfather because her mother had passed away and I won't say any more so to avoid spoilers, but these are two crucial details that leave a lot up to the imagination when it really shouldn't. Tell me why I'm supposed to care and why this is important. I wasn't a huge fan of the plotlines LaCour chose for this part of the narrative, but I feel like I could have liked them more if she had just expanded on them. That's the main problem with We Are Okay: it's too short! I'm all for books that are under 250 pages. Most times they're short and sweet and I don't have to spend more than a few days reading them. But this is one case where the book just should've been longer: for a story that takes a little bit to develop (I wasn't feeling any investment before 75 pages), I think it would help the book immensely if it was longer. That way, the author can elaborate and show me the importance of such things as why Marin feels the need to run away after the tragedy...because I didn't really understand what she was going for there.

But don't get me wrong, there were a few things that I liked! I like how Marin is a total introvert who wants to spend her entire winter break in an empty dorm building (although there were some themes of not having anybody and being lonely in here, which kinda brought the introvert party aspect down). I think a lot of the chapters dealing with Marin and Mable staying in the dorm are really calm, introverted situations where not a lot is happening, but what is left unsaid is just as loud as a dance club. LaCour did that really well. You could tell right away that the atmosphere was calm, because it's winter break and these girls are the only two people in a dorm room in an otherwise empty building, but you can tell there's so much tension between them and I immediately wanted to know why. I did have some problems with how all of that played out (which I won't get fully into because spoilers), but I did like the dialogue and scenes between them. What I didn't like was how mopey and whiny Marin was about being lonely when Mable was offering so much to her, but there were also some hints of unresolved depression and/or anxiety with her character, so I won't judge her too harshly for that. The book also offers some beautiful insights into anxiety and themes of embracing uncertainty, but this was another thing that I couldn't feel a strong connection to because it was cut short. We Are Okay needed to be longer! It just would have solved a lot of little problems and allowed the story to flow a bit better. I don't think the story itself felt rushed or anything and that's why I think it needs to be longer, just...underdeveloped.

The story has a nice outcome (depending on how you look at it), but in terms of the resolution concerning Marin's grandfather and her old life, so many unanswered questions. Answer these questions for me! Strengthen your narrative! Overall, not bad, not great, but also not something you should avoid if the premise intrigues you. Several of my Goodreads friends gave it 5 stars. Sometimes you just have to trust your book nerd gut and read what it tells you to read, and then you can yell at it later if it disappoints you. 3.5/5 stars.