Book Review: 'Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine' by Gail Honeyman

I was not a fan of this one. I could barely get through it. You know that feeling that creeps up on you as you are trying so hard to get into a book, hoping something turns around that lets you enjoy it, but sometimes it never comes and you just have to move on? That's what happened with me and Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine.

This book is about namesake Eleanor Oliphant, who is an office worker who struggles with social skills, but she's fine. She treats herself to a frozen pizza and some wine on Fridays when she's not having phone conversations with her Mummy. But then she meets Raymond, an IT specialist at her office, and after they help an older man named Sammy from a fall, they all begin to bond. I was expecting Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine to be a cutesy, relatable contemporary novel about a woman who is completely fine with who she is, not talking to anyone unless absolutely necessary (because, you know, that's totally relatable for all the introverts out there) and living her life as she wants to, until someone comes along and reminds her that it's okay to be more than just fine sometimes. But Eleanor Oliphant is so unlikable. I thought maybe she might be a tad high-functioning autistic or something at the beginning, but it's not like she doesn't know any better and that's why she is oblivious to social rules and norms. It's not even that she's oblivious. She knows, she's just rude and doesn't give a shit. And the author tries to make you sympathize with her by dropping these subtle foreshadows to her earlier life and why she might have ended up like this, but even when all of that is revealed to the reader in full, I still didn't sympathize with her. She was still unnecessarily bitter and just plain rude (which means a lot coming from me, King of Bitterness).

Another thing I wasn't expecting from Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine is the fact that it's very British. I don't usually have an issue with English books that take place outside of North America, but the fact that Eleanor Oliphant is British seems to contribute to her bitter and rude personality which just made my experience reading this book all the more worse. In other words, her bitter and rude behavior really didn't seem all that foreign or alien-like because I've read other British books with British characters similar to her, but the whole point was supposed to be that Eleanor Oliphant was blatantly different from most full-grown adults and "oblivious" to social norms. It didn't work and didn't come across that way.

Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine also reminds me of another book I've read that I didn't really like, Invisible Ellen by Shari Shattuck. Despite my not liking that one, the title character in that book is more relatable and easier to sympathize with; she's overweight, has been abused her entire life, and feels like she is undeserving of love. The thing that made me dislike Invisible Ellen was the fact that the main point of the story ended up being Ellen and her new blind friend solving little crimes they notice happening around them. Ruined it.

In any event, Eleanor Oliphant is Completely Fine didn't work for me. Based on the fact that most people on Goodreads have rated it 4 and 5 stars, I'm in the minority here, but I guess it just wasn't for me. Meh. 2/5 stars.

Book Reviews: 'The Secret Life of Bees' by Sue Monk Kidd and 'Dear Mr. You' by Mary-Louise Parker

1. The Secret Life of Bees, by Sue Monk Kidd:

I thought this one was very powerful and inspiring (mostly). In fact, I was a bad bookworm with this book. I had heard of the movie before, but never knew it was based on a universally acclaimed novel. But hey, I still read the book first, as I have yet to watch the movie! I thought, for the most part, The Secret Life of Bees was very good. For those who aren't familiar with it, it's about fourteen-year-old Lily from the American South in 1964 who, after her black maid insults three of the biggest racists in their small town, runs away from her abusive father in search of information on her late mother, with her maid, Rosaleen, in tow. They escape to Tiburon, South Carolina, where they are taken in by the eccentric but loving "calendar sisters"; August, May and June, who are beekeepers. The writing was very strong and atmospheric; I felt like I was actually in Tiburon for most of it. I was actually prepared to rate The Secret Life of Bees 5 stars...but then the story started to drag in the middle. Like, really drag. The first 100 pages had me so engrossed in the story, but then I thought it really started to drag thereafter. Also, I have a bit of an issue with the character of Rosaleen, Lily's maid who, in the beginning, is said to be her "stand-in mother." For a supposed stand-in mother, Rosaleen is very immature and anything but parental. I understand she and Lily share a unique and unusual relationship, but I was expecting a lot more from her character. After they move in with the sisters in Tiburon, she is quite absent from the main storyline. IDK, maybe it was done that way so as to not take away from Lily's character and her journey and transformation, but I for one was expecting more from Rosaleen's character. Also, I found that one of the themes and messages that comes from The Secret Life of Bees is to look to a higher power, whomever that may be, because they always have your back. As someone who doesn't place a large amount of value in religion and spiritual beliefs, that message didn't really do much for me and took away from the resolution of the story a bit. Again, just me. My issues are more of a "it's me not you" type of thing. But other than a few minor issues, I did enjoy The Secret Life of Bees. I look forward to checking out the movie. 4/5 stars.

2. Dear Mr. You, by Mary-Louise Parker:
I must say, from a literary standpoint, this book is very impressive. Dear Mr. You is Mary-Louise Parker's memoir told in letters to different men she has encountered throughout her life and it was just so...poetically written. Like, some of it actually felt like I was reading poetry because you don't quite always know who she is writing to (she assigns a random name to the person at the beginning). I mean, sometimes it is obvious, but others not so much. So like with poetry, you don't always know what the poet is trying to say, but you can still interpret that it's beautifully and amazingly written because, even if you sometimes have no idea what is going on, you're enjoying yourself. Therefore, I really enjoyed reading Dear Mr. You and I definitely recommend it to anyone who enjoys memoirs or just genuinely good writing in general. I feel inclined to give it the highest rating possible because as much as I enjoyed it, I do think it is very impressive and unique. 5/5 stars.

20 Underrated Songs I'm Willing to Bet You've Never Heard

Originally written and posted on the Kelly Alexander Show website, which you can check out here!

1. “How Do I Deal” – Jennifer Love Hewitt

Yes, it’s true, JLH was also a singer/songwriter back when she was a teen star with lots of potential. Unfortunately, it just never happened for her; none of her four studio albums saw much success at all in North America. “How Do I Deal”, from the I Still Know What You Did Last Summer soundtrack, is an epic pop rock tune with an AMAZING guitar solo that perfectly captures young adult life. It also happens to be her best-selling release as a recording artist, and rightfully so.

2. “Over” – Lindsay Lohan

You might hear some people try to tell you that “Rumors” is the best Lindsay Lohan song, but I’m here to set the record straight and tell you that “Over” is most definitely Lohan’s superior song. What does it sound like, you ask? If there ever was an embodiment of the sound of 2004 teen pop rock, this is it. Sorry, Hilary Duff. Maybe this is really why Lindsay and Hilary hated each other so much back in the 2000s.

3. “High Maintenance” – Miranda Cosgrove feat. Rivers Cuomo
Miranda Cosgrove was never that great of a vocalist and she did just get a recording contract by singing a few breezy, forgettable tunes on the iCarly soundtrack in 2008, but most of her singles were decent bops that never got the justice they deserved. “High Maintenance”, the second track from her 2011 extended play of the same name, is an awesome pop rock collaboration that was ROBBED of mainstream success, or release as a single. High Maintenance (the EP) is also a solid record and showed some growth for Cosgrove as a recording artist, but it proved to be her last release in the music industry. Sad!

4. “Thinking of You” – Kesha

I live for Kesha slut-shaming guys in her songs, and this is probably my all-time favorite song of hers. Should have damn well been a single from her criminally underrated second studio album, Warrior (which I talk more about here), but as per usual, the world just can’t appreciate good electropop.

5. “Cruel” – The Veronicas

Iconic bop from The Veronicas’ last self-titled album from 2014. The music video is also amazing.

6. “Sorry” – Naya Rivera feat. Big Sean

Did you know that Naya Rivera (a.k.a. Santana Lopez, the best character on Glee) had one lone single as a recording artist with Columbia Records in 2013? It sounds like 90s hip-hop meets present-day R&B and yet the song is virtually unknown and, as a result of its poor chart performance, Rivera and Columbia parted ways soon after its release. An actual travesty.

7. “Something That We’re Not” – Demi Lovato

Underrated bop from Demi Lovato’s eponymous fourth studio album, Demi (2013).

8. “Feel Like Dancin’” – RuPaul feat. La Toya Jackson
RuPaul makes a great deal of genuinely amazing dance-pop tracks that sound like 70s disco meets present-day pop but it seems the world is scared by an extremely versatile drag queen singer/songwriter who is comfortable being referred to by both gender pronouns. I’d like to live in a world that appreciates and loves RuPaul for everything he does and represents.

9. “Burning Up” – Britney Spears

I’m willing to bet that you don’t know this song because, technically, it was never released. Over the years, several tracks that Britney recorded that never made it onto her assorted albums have been leaked and brought to justice by people on YouTube. Among several that deserved to be heard and appreciated by the world (“Dramatic”, “Dangerous” or “Kiss You All Over”, anyone?) I think “Burning Up” is my favorite. It was supposedly recorded for the Femme Fatale era (AND was written by Madonna), which happens to be my favorite Britney album. Say what you will about her supposedly heavily processed vocals, but she’s always been able to produce bops that make other artists jealous.

10. “Fragile” – Prince Fox feat. Hailee Steinfeld

I’d like everyone to please join me as we hit the streets in a march I’d like to call the Justice for Hailee Steinfeld Parade. Just listen to this collaboration she did last year. Your ears will thank me.

11. “Sparks” – Hilary Duff

The lead single from Duff’s last album that unfortunately did not reach number one on the charts like it could have, everyone I’ve played this song for has loved it wholeheartedly. Could actually become the new national anthem, TBH.

12. “More Than Friends” – Victoria Duffield

I will never understand how this single never launched Duffield into worldwide success as the latest pop phenomenon. It’s actually excellent, in every sense of the word.

13. “Popular Song” – MIKA feat. Ariana Grande

Underrated bop that has a great message about what it means to be popular, in every sense, especially in the music industry.

14. “In My Blood” – The Veronicas

I don’t understand how we’re forced to listen to Iggy Azalea and Nicki Minaj flops on the radio all the time yet never once have we stumbled onto “In My Blood.” Someone needs to re-launch The Veronicas into the rest of the world outside of their native Australia before I lose my cool.

15. “Don’t Hold Your Breath” – Nicole Scherzinger

I feel like way too many delays and disputes behind the scenes is what has stopped Nicole Scherzinger from truly *happening* as a solo artist. She’s a great vocalist and is pretty much singlehandedly responsible for all the success the Pussycat Dolls saw. “Don’t Hold Your Breath” = underrated single.

16. “Overdose” – Alessia Cara

I think “Overdose” is my favorite song from her debut album (aside from “Scars to Your Beautiful”, obviously). I can’t wait to see what the future has in store for Alessia Cara.

17. “Long Live Rock and Roll” – Daughtry

Yes, the rumors are true: I don’t only listen to pop music. I do enjoy my fair share of alternative rock, and Daughtry have always been one of my favorites. They have been a little inconsistent since the days of their first two albums, but their last album, Baptized (2013), was solid, and “Long Live Rock and Roll” should have been a single. Would have seen some decent success.

18. “Run to You” – Lea Michele

As much as she is talented, it seems Lea Michele’s record label is hell bent on turning her into the next Celine Dion who sings only soft, slow, soul songs. Her debut album from 2014 was an unfortunate flop and I was hoping for something fresh and new from her latest album that came out earlier this year, Places, but looks like we’re sticking to the same songs that literally all sound the same. I will, however, recommend “Run to You”, which is a good song. If you’re going to listen to Lea Michele whose music all sounds the exact same, listen to “Run to You.”

19. “Robot” – Miley Cyrus

It’s a true mystery to me that music critics shat so deeply on Miley’s third studio album, Can’t Be Tamed, which actually could have been the start of something great if she had stuck with it. They said the album lacked focus, failed to truly establish her maturing image, and that Cyrus’ auto-tuned vocals made it difficult for the songs on the album to establish any emotional depth. I think the album had perfect focus and her vocals were truly not that bad, especially considering the album had some electropop elements. In any event, “Robot” is definitely a highlight from the album and is very ironic if you listen to the lyrics—it’s essentially Miley’s version of Britney Spears’ “Overprotected,” which is interesting considering most critics found the album to be impersonal and without any emotional depth. A mere three years later, Miley had lost her signature brunette hairstyle for a short blonde pixie cut, invented a crude dance move for attention and was licking sledgehammers in music videos, which critics seemed to enjoy more. OKAY THEN.

20. “(What Is) Love?” – Jennifer Lopez

Most definitely my all-time favorite J.Lo song. Merely a promotional single from her 2011 album Love? that made a minor appearance in her 2010 rom-com The Back-Up Plan, everyone who I play this song for falls in love with it.

Book Review: 'Into the Water' by Paula Hawkins

I tried so hard with this one, but unfortunately, no. Let's start at the beginning.

Paula Hawkins more than proved herself worth my money with her first novel, The Girl on the Train. Even though her second novel, Into the Water, sounded completely different, I was excited to read it because I do believe that Hawkins is a good writer. Even though I did not end up enjoying Into the Water, I do maintain that she is a skilled author and is good at what she does.

Hawkins' second novel encompasses several storylines, all with a common theme: a series of drownings in a small British town in a lake where drownings like these seem to be a recurring event throughout history. Sounds simple enough, right? Well, the thing that ultimately kills Into the Water is that the cast of characters is way too damn big. There are way too many perspective changes. Books with multiple points of view are usually among my favorites, and I think this is the first book I've ever disliked for that reason. The perspective just shifts way too often, and as a result I can never tell what's going on. What makes that all the more worse is that I think Hawkins did that on purpose, because all of these people are pretty despicable and untrustworthy. So the constant perspective changes makes it difficult to ever warm up to any of the characters or truly know them as characters and I think it was deliberately written that way, but it made for a difficult and unpleasant reading experience for me. Just to paint you more of a picture of how many characters there are: There is Lena, daughter of the deceased Nel, and Nel's sister Jules; there's both of the detectives, Sean Townsend and Erin Morgan, as well as Sean's wife, Helen, and his father, Patrick. There's the teacher from Lena's school, Mark Henderson, and the local "psychic", Nickie Sage. There's Louise Whittaker, whose daughter died, and also her son, Josh. I'm pretty sure I've even forgotten some. All of these characters have their own chapters and points of view throughout the book and FOR THE LOVE OF GOD, NO. Just too many perspective changes. For example, there are 14 perspective changes in the first part alone. WHAT EVEN. NO. TOO MUCH.

As if the constant perspective changes which made it near impossible for me to decipher what was going on for the better part of the book (or enjoy what I was reading, really) weren't enough to digest, there are other problems with Into the Water. Even though I knew going in that it was going to be nothing like The Girl on the Train, I was expecting more of the suspense Hawkins employed in her first novel. Into the Water is very character-driven (well, as character driven as it can be, given there are minimal chances to truly get to know any of the characters), which I have no issue with; character-driven novels are very often my favorite to read. But a definite lack of suspense combined with the impossibility to truly know any of the characters because we're constantly shifting to other people's perspectives made for a largely boring reading experience. I can guarantee that if Hawkins had employed some of the suspense writing she had used in The Girl on the Train that I would have enjoyed Into the Water just a little bit more. However, as I already said, there were moments in this book that reminded me Hawkins is a good writer. Even though I didn't feel like I could get to know any of the characters, some of her character-driven writing brought me close and reminded me of what made her first novel so endearingly popular and genuinely good. 

My last issue with Into the Water is that the ending was too anticlimactic. Other reviewers seem to disagree, but I was totally banking on an "OMG, WTF" resolution to the story. Maybe I failed to be shocked by the ending because as the story drew twistier and twistier, it failed to make any realistic sense. This leads me to believe that the allegedly page-turning plot of Into the Water was concocted and written by Hawkins solely for shock value, which doesn't really work considering she was clearly going for a quieter, less suspenseful story to follow The Girl on the Train. I don't know, all of that just makes me raise an eyebrow. I would have to pick her brain on that.

I won't discourage you from checking out Into the Water because you presumably loved The Girl on the Train, but just remember: it's not the same kind of book on any level (it's a thriller, but definitely not the same kind of thriller). Not in tone, not in style, and (at least in my opinion) not in quality. 2/5 stars.